One of the most important things to me as a parent is making sure that my girls love who they are. Both of my girls have different skin complexions and different hair textures. I want them to embrace their own individuality and the perfection that God created. By the time my oldest was just 3-years old, she had already started comparing her hair to her classmates in school. She attended a daycare that was predominately white, and therefore her friends were predominantly white. One day she said to me, at the innocent age of 3, “mommy I want my hair to look like Bailey’s”. Bailey, who was white, was one of her best friends in preschool. As a new mom at the time, that statement was a huge learning curve for me. I quickly realized that it would be my job to start consistently teaching and showing my daughter how to embrace her own natural hair and skin. Here are a few ways I’ve accomplished this:
- I started wearing my own natural curls more than I got my hair straightened to ensure that I was practicing what I preached. I wanted to show my girls first-hand what it looked like to embrace their beautiful selves.
- I give my girls lots of compliments on how beautiful they are, how perfect and flawless their skin is, and how much I love their curly coils. I am my girls’ biggest “hype man”.
- We read books that cater to helping African American kids love their hair texture and skin tone, like “Hair Love” by Matthew A. Cherry and “Happy Hair” by Mechal Renee Roe.
Fast-forward to today, 7 years later. My oldest is now 10-years old. Her favorite hair styles are now braids and Afro puffs. Last year, when she was 9-years old, she had an experience on the school bus during a 3rd grade field trip. A little girl, who was white, asked her the question, “why do white people’s hair grow faster than black people’s hair?” To my surprise, my daughter’s response to her was, “because our hair is magical so it takes more time.” I was also surprised to see how liberated she felt when she came home to tell me about the response she had given. It was confirmation for me that all my hard work to teach my girls to love the skin they’re in was working. Today, both of my girls have confidence that I wish I could bottle up and keep sacred forever. My youngest, who is 5-years old, was born into my self-love preaching. In the process of inspiring them, they unknowingly began inspiring me.
